duminică, 12 noiembrie 2017

Lemon

Some of the songs I enjoy




And of course lots of songs from Rihanna, the bad Riri version.
A lot of people talking about Untold and Tomorrowland being the biggest festivals in the world but nobody knows about the Burning Man. Such a pity. Take a look


And this filmed by that guy from the prankvsprank youtube channel, jesse

And this one the Baba City from soundcloud. 

And this one too


And a lot of songs from the Cowboy Bebop series. :D Forever.
Enjoy! :-*

sâmbătă, 11 noiembrie 2017

Coming back

I'm coming back. Couldn't find anything better, in fact I lost a lot of time and effort for nothing and I was also mocked in several interviews, some misogynists too and other bad stuff too, pff too many to talk about them all and even from so called big companies I haven't even imagined, but I guess you live and learn, so I'm gonna accept that offer for that position in the same company I am right now, if they still want me of course but as I see everybody runs from that position, haha, nobody wants to do it so who's gonna do it? Claudia, muhahaha. If not, I'm kind of screwed either way. :))) However, I don't have much time either way. Christmas is coming and so the new year, no time for anything else no more. I guess it's better to regret what you tried than what you didn't even try in the first place. I just gave up and run after the second day, haha. I admit it, I'm a baby, haha, the hours were many, extra, extra, so the stress of not knowing and learning so the fact of being in two places doing two jobs at the same time, one of it in training of course but I guess nothing good in life comes easy so enough with the complaining, I wanted something else but at the same time the same me did the opposite thing. Baby me, stupid me. :))

But now, I guess I'm not scared anymore. :)
I guess I'm growing up, I'm a big girl now or I'll very soon be one but first I had to see some things for myself I had to hit some walls in order to get to this point to realise stuff in general. That's me, very stubborn until the end. :-P I had some fights with myself, internally like, and how I am, I still have but it's ok, I'm alright now, I can do anything and the things I wish of, of course I can do them all and this is the right path for me now, I was just too blind or scared to see it, but it's alright, I just had to give it some time.


 As this song below says Give it some time, you just had to give it some time for everything to sink in, 'lil girl.
So give it some time, you'll be alright. :)



Growing up sucks, ugh, but it's the only way to achieving your dreams and wishes not running away, haha, *facepalm*.

What growing up looks like and probably feels like explained in this video below for couples. :-p
It's just about making the right decision, I guess. :) Let the past remain the past.

Songs for the weekend:


And this one is not really my style way too romantic for me, bleah but I like the video, I'd really love to go skiing or snowboarding someday or both why not?
And no, I'm not in love or anything, no worries in that department. :D

Have a nice weekend, gotta go.
Oh and I started watching Two and a half men, that TV Show cracks me up, everytime.
I'm gonna make myself a titan!

vineri, 3 noiembrie 2017

Leave Romania if you have brains!

I think I've seen enough of Romania and what it has to offer. Basically it's all about who's being the slickest of them all on one side with poor people trying to get day by day with so little working like slaves inhumane hours and on the other side we have the higher class whivh is all about fancy clothes, showing off but not much brain unfortunately, we don't like to think, we like other things. No wonder who has some brain leaves than staying here and hitting a wall everywhere. People make the place that kind of sorta thing, and very, very few good ones remained here, heros, survivors, struggles, hustlers I'm gonna call them but definetely not worth it. Many romanians are too good for this country and yes it is a struggle to leave on your own with nobody's help without having that kind of friend or anyone to help you when you're always poor and an honest man in a rotten country.

duminică, 22 octombrie 2017

Youth


         This is literally me whenever I have a crush, this song I mean. :)) As fast as it comes as fast it goes(my roommate knows better :)), oh youth, such a strange period of your life, such a time when you're always alive, maybe too alive. :)))
Funny that I was in a library yesterday one full with books only in english because as I said I want to read oly in English from now on to develop more of my vocabulary and I came across a book with love stories and those kind of romances of the '70s or '80 I don't even know. However, it had the exact same pictures this video from above has and it reminded me of this song.
When someone at work tells you, ah I feel so good now that I'm 35, it's so much better now because I'm more mature, I don't want to be your age ever again, life's so much better now than it was at 20 something age. I never want to go back. And I said well, I like it now and I'll like it even when I'll be old and ugly, who cares? And why would you want to ever go back? Life goes on. And what's so nice about being all mature and adult? :)) What's so nice about nothing surprising you anymore in life because you're all a smart expert who've been and seen a lot in life so you know how life is and how it works. What's so nice about losing the innocence, huh? I think every age has its benefits and its disadvantages and as it's impossible to remain at a certain age forever why not enjoy each and every stage of your life as you're probably have many life crisis either way. But I'll still be optimistic, until the end. :)))  
And no, I won't hide my age or enjoy those jokes of oh my god giiirl you look so young when you can definetely see my wrinkles after I hope 40 years old or more, let's just leave the hypocrisy at home and be honest with each other, what have you come for, what can I help you with, what do you need?, I don't like sugar coating and compliments which are never for free. I'm not that type of girl. :)) And I won't smile at you just because you think that I look prettier like that when I'm all full of work and stress. Women are not puppets or prizes for your amusement just because we look prettier smiling. I'll smile when I want to smile at you. :) But maybe I'm just too harsh and should just relax more, maybe.

Talking about life crisis at different stages of life. Maybe I have faithful readers just because they found something here or just because of my honesty, I'll always be honest about everything, my posts will always be honest, without any kind of shame, censor or curtain , masks(don't know the expression in english "fara perdea").Or maybe it's really nothing and nobody reads my stupid posts or it's just the curiosity still who cares? I write more for me than for others. And yes, it's public, and yes I don't care, we only have one life, unfortunately and it's a short one. If I'm not right we can always argue, I love arguing, without arguing everything will be so boring. If everybody likes each other, it'll be so boring.

And no, I don't smoke, I never will even if I tried that hookah thing, quite nice but tasteless and yes I drink occasionally or if I have a really bad day, depends. Martini is something I would try but enough with the drinks. :))
I watched this movie just because Japan and my obsession with this country and with South Korea too recently and it turned out to be quite ok. 
I also want to see that movie with Natalie Portman being a stripper with a pink wig, I forgot how it's called. See? That's why I'm always saying life's too short, you never have time for everything you wish for or it's just because I wish for too much. Maybe... Who knows? I don't. :)

And something more new
https://soundcloud.com/robot-heart/behrouz-robot-heart-10-year-anniversary-burning-man-2017

And this one is pure love and very classy at the same time

And this is sexy as hell aaand I'm gonna stop :))


sâmbătă, 21 octombrie 2017

Limits. Do I have any?

I sometimes sit and wonder do I really have any kind of limits? Until I almost reached all my limits last week and I realised of course that no money can cover the exhaustion I felt after working 12 hours + in a single day trying to be in two places/departments at the same time, one of them being my job, the other one in training, until I felt that I'm gonna collaps, no kidding. And I stopped and I wondered wtf am I doing? Only because they want me in another department which clearly is way too difficult for me right now with my level so they can force me to give up. No, I won't give up but also I won't force myself on doing things way above my physical and mental stage and preparations just to give me the illusion that I advanced, and yep it's no entry level this time, maybe that's why I feel so exhausted all the time I rather be at the front desk doing so much less complicated things and of course doing them better because there's a lot of work there too and a lot of hassle and rushing and many people so no, it's never siting around and I'm really fine with it, because I learned them so well rather than forcing on things that I didn't even have specialised studies for If they don't like me where I am right now bringing excuses like bla bla it's better for you in a real department , in a team well ok offer me something more entry level so I can learn from the start not from a senior level where you definetely need some skills I dunnot possess If not then fire me from the front desk, I don't care and you don't even have a reason for it because I'm getting better and better at doing it, no mistakes.  I thought about it a lot and probably if I get past all the recruitment process I'll leave everything behing and go to Poland soon enough as another offer rose up in  their central offices in Kracow and they want me there, well I'll go it'll be better than here, in terms of wage too, of course or I'll just search for something else here if I really can't stay where I am right now and still I won't leave until I'm not sure I have something else, I'm not that crazy on leaving things without a real back up plan or many back up plans. Or I'll just accept the offer the hr manager who first hired me where I work right now got me after she herself left the company shortly after I came. :)) Even if it is everything in French which I know but not my dream language to work with, still English is my passion and the best I'm into but of course I'll give it a try. I'm kind of dissapointed that from all that big corporation of not really two but three big floors all they managed to come with was smth that I didn't even wanted, even if it is from the same department I wished to be into, it's not what I asked for and still I know there are other positions that I really can manage doing them but they offered me exactly the one which was not for me and they know this, of course. Well, fuck them. I'm not gonna destroy my health for them, it's not worth it.

Let's all laugh as it's only the beginning of it all, but to be honest it's really not worthing all the money in the world because nothing can cover the challenges and the kind of changes it brings to your personality and to your everything. I sat at the table on Friday and saw a woman talking to herself and many more like her and thinking well fuck it I don't wanna become like her. :)) No thanks. I'm really ok with where I am right now, no need for smth else, you don't like me there fire me or offer me smth else. :)

Some tell me well yeah everywhere you go in the beginning it's very difficult and it sucks especially when you don't know anything and it really is I can't count the times when I reached my limit, I can't count the times when I said that's it I cannot continue anymore in the same pace, but guess what? I did it, I always did a bit more than the limit and it became easier and easier because this is how it goes but it was definetely smth else than what I'm supposed to do right now so yeah we'll see, I never say no, but maybe sometimes it's better so say no, just so you can find something way better worth fighting for. So we'll see how it all goes. I'm still always be proud of myself I really changed in good, I'm better than before and getting better and better and still the youngest one there who managed to survive so much time there haha, I sometimes really can't believe I'm only 23 and did so much. Wonder how I'll be at their age, certainly way, way better and not in Romania of course.

Need to see this show
I also reccomend Rick and Morty.

I still love life very much I'll always be a life lover no matter what it brings, I always can't get enough from it. :) I definetely need more lives for my unrested mind and body.

And the most recent picture of me, the one I did today. I think I still look good but of course I got the permanent dark circle everybody has here, I cover them with make up all the time. :)))





luni, 18 septembrie 2017

In Other News



Hello, blogger.com my old friend. I have to keep you updated on things just because.
So, first things first, I’ve managed to get ourselves an apartment in this period of september where the prices are way up to the top because the students are coming. I am happy and I also hope it won’t left us pennyless in winter with its costs. J)) It was needed either way, I can’t live in that dormitory again, my job is stressful not like other people think, I need a good place to rest, cook(at least learn to), a real home. In other news I was proposed (it was a joke of course but still I have a feeling that guy is too serious for this century, haha) I refused no worries, he’s not even in Ro so how could I? It was funny though.
I kept being asked why I didn’t apply for a master, well I really don’t like to give explanations for anything regarding my actions in life because I don’t like to, because it’s not your business and just because every little action is well calculated, I know why I do that, or that and it’s really nobody’s business why or how I’m living my life. One thing is that since I’ve come to Bucharest I’ve been working in two shifts, meaning one week I am in the morning 8-5 one week in the afternoon 11-8 and again in the morning and so on so forth. Girl at the front desk have this program with me, another reason why I’m gonna move to the hr department just so I can be with the other department meaning everything in the firm with the same programme which is 9 till 6, one hour is the break to eat and everything.  It’s not the only reason why I didn’t want a master. With the contacts I’ve made here it’s quite a big firm here in Ro, hundreds of people only where I work, still a lot more in other cities from all around Romania and of course it’s definetely not for everyone, I still can go whenever I want, wherever I want(but I won’t because I’m not stupid like you may think, I need at least a year of work experience well usually it’s asked for two full years at least and I like it here, I don’t even mind the position or the two shifts at least for now because I like the envirnment and the people) when you’ll be still leaving with your mommy and daddy at home being so proud by your masters at a no name university in a no name city, deserted. Experience and real, good skills are the key, that’s only a paper, I know so many people with two universities and masters that they can’t find a simple job just because they’re not good enough, a lot of examples from bucharest too. I’m not saying it’s not important especially when you’re getting at an age when you’ll want to be a manager or a director but it’s time for that too. You can do that course whenever you want either way and yes I’ll do it, it’s not your business when, where and how and what’s gonna be and if I won’t it’s still not your business. What I don’t like are closed-minded people who are too preoccupied with other instead of themselves. Thta’s why you’lle never be successful, you’re too preoccupied with what others are doing with their lives insteas of your own. When I’ve come to bucharest I was so happy that finally nobody gives a damn about me here just because everyone was too preoccupied with themselves and their own lives to even have time to even think about what other are doing. It becomes a real problem when you have too much time on your hands. The thing is that I’m good and I know that I am so of course I’ll get the best from life. Other things are not important.
It’s also not your business when I’ll leave Romania because this is a thing that I’ll ceratinly do, it’s one of my long term dreams and wishes. I like to do exactly what I want with my life, I’ve always did it like this with no explanations needed for my each and every move, not even to my parents and hopefully they have a big trust in me that I’m gonna make it wherever I want, by myself. They know me, they have that big trust that I so much appreciate. And of course I’ll achieve all of my dreams and wishes no matter what, sooner or later or much later, life is longer than you may think.

It’s funny because I’ve also seen my ex with someone else for the first time not in real life but still, I was at a concert and I was happy. I really don’t know why he did want us to meet in August when he was in Romania, no, we didn’t talk at all as others may think, until last month(maybe talk about on how our lives changed a lot in a year or almost two years, I don’t even remember, haha and plans for the future) but he was happy that I finally got rid from my hometown and I was too very happy for him that everything goes well with his life and that he’s gonna move with our old friend from Transilvania this month as I so hoped for a big reunion well at least for them because me is still in Romania, haha. Maybe for the future. Maybe a business one, haha. ;) However, I’m happy that he still wants to be a University teacher, he always wanted this and he’ll be such a great researcher, no matter where I’ll be,  I want to give my children and grandchildren to his university/courses so I really hope he’s gonna be a teacher. ;)


I’m also planning on writing a book, I know it sounds very „cliche” but still I don’t care, it won’t be about my life maybe inspired from life itself because I think life is really, really interesting and I still haven’t seen nothing, just the beginning of it.

Oh and funny thing besided jealousy, „invidie” the usual things that come when you’re changing your life for the very better, now we also have bodyguards at the firm so hey I feel safer now, I’m joking they’re not for me of course :)) but still they’re funny. I think it’s better for the firm if we go internationally meaning not only with China it will be a shame to be number one only in Romania, just my humble opinion. :-p And I’m gonna shut up because hey, I’m not allowed to say more.

duminică, 10 septembrie 2017

Dreams, future, plans

Made it with my papers to that stupid ajofm, got rid of them once and for all, treated my ears because in my second week in bucharest I caught otitis so great yeah like I didn't have enough problems but no worries, I can deal with almost anything from amount of work at the job to amount of personal, familial, health problems, I'm truly a real fighter. Father is well again as he was in hospital in july too. Now I've been back home for the first time since I left to change my summer clothes to the autumn ones as I don't think I'll get back here sooner than x-mas time. The only thing left to do this month is to move to an apartment with my roommate so we won't have to leave in that miserable baptist dormitory or any kind of dormitory ever again, however we can't as we're not students anymore but either way I wanted to move from a long time but a lot of things got in my way now that all of them all solved and I can rest and focus only on this aspect. Of course we won't have the same amount of money we have now as the cost of utilities and everything involved with an apartment of any kind in bucharest are quite expensive for our age, money, experience and everything so we're not having many expectations or "pretentii". I also have to get my diploma from that 5 days course I did in July  in bucharest sponsored by the firm which by the way I didn't receive and I know it's september, I'll get it these days too. And another diploma(from that joke of a university from my hometown, where everyone gets to pass without any kind of effort, but hey it's a bachelor's degree so it's important) I also have to get next year in 2018, then or never. I want to stay here in Romania for at least a year, I'm actually hoping for at least 2 years as I want to get some work experience and possibly a better position but it's not really about the position as it is more about the work experience which I lack as the 8 months in my hometown weren't taken into account, what a waste. That's why I'm gonna ask for a paper or anything to demonstrate that I worked for x months, years somewhere for the future as it will be recognized everywhere. The bureacracy here kills me, only in Romania they ask for a lot of papers for every little thing, only in ro we have legalised translations, "notar", "stampila" and many more stupid little papers, bureaucracy as they are called, in other countries everything is electronic or on your mobile phone, or cards, etc. In Ro, we like having a lot of papers for everything and you have to go there to get something so you can bring it to another place in order for dunno what. In ten or more years the job I'm doing right now, won't even exist as I'm seeing everything getting technologised, correspondency too, posta romana si asa e cam pe duca si outnumbered de alti curieri sau de internet, tehnologie. Totul va fi electronic cum deja si este in foarte multe tari mai civilizate si mult mai dezvoltate. Oh, and to make myself an actual passport another thing on my bucket list.

Things for the far, far future that I don't think I'll ever have time to do them ever again but I don't regret anything as I have another dreams and wishes/plans to take care of. They are: doing a master's degree( I don't think I'll get to do this but I don't regret it as I didn't have who knows what course in my mind) and a thing for the far future that I'll have to do is to get my driving license, but for the far future now I have other things in my crazy mind that doesn't let me sleep peacefully each and every night. :)

After everything will be in place and after I'll solve the many things left undone that I'll have to do, I'll go for uk and afterwards I'll leave europe for good, hoping for asia(south korea, japan, singapore) or america(new york or dunno), well I'm a city girl, I'll always be a city girl, bigger, better. :)

I think for now that's all, if I have something else in mind I'll go back here and write in romanian-english ca sa ma descarc, ha!

Another thing I have to do is to exercise my english skills and knowledge, conversational skills as they're getting pretty bad, I'm reading books only in english now so I can enrich my vocabulary, I'm actually interested in the business ones. :D