duminică, 24 decembrie 2017

Thank You Christmas!

Merry Christmas and may your hearts be filled with joy and happiness! :)
Next year will definitely be better and wiser too! 
But to be honest with you all I have a feeling it will be crazier than ever because of the crazy decisions I'll make, actually as someone said they won't be crazy at all, there's always someone crazier than you.
Later Update: How could I forgot to say the most important thing ever? :))
Well, I can now say I really like how karma works. I can say this Christmas I got the best present ever: answers and freedom and even more as not in a million years will I ever imagined it like that but karma is harsh I guess. I really didn't need anything else 'cause as I said I got even more than what I imagined in the first place. I can really finish this year with style I guess. 😎


sâmbătă, 9 decembrie 2017

Loving Vincent

So, I've watched Loving Vincent. Great movie that I had to write something about it.

'You want to know so much about his death, but what do you know of his life?'
'I know that he tried hard to prove that he was… good enough for something.'
'Yes, he did. That’s why I take flowers to his grave. That’s all I can do for him now. He would appreciate the delicate beauty of their bloom, even each blade of their grassy stems. No detail of life was too small or too humble for him. He appreciated and loved it all.'

Poor soul, he felt everything. He felt so much it made him want the impossible. :(
What angers me is that he's considered insane or suffering from some kind of mental disease that he was treated for. I think he was completely sane, these people are very sane, they're just too good for eveything around them, they're geniuses, these kind of people of course they always have very harsh lives most of the time for being misunderstood. I remember I read something some time ago about a teacher who specialised in training and teaching children with higher iq's. Usually these kids if they are left in the wrong hands for too much unable to really show their potential, they get depressed, they isolate themselves from everyone they feel they'll never get to do what they're supposed to do, to fulfill theit full potential, become agressive or suicidal because of course nobody can fit in a pattern with everyone. We are all different, humans are all different, that's what makes the earth go round, that sort of thing. :)

However, still unrelated to Vincent, yes he was depressive and as depression can be a disease I think most of the time it is triggered over time and not just comes out of nowhere, nobody is born with it, it's not genetical as I think mos of the mental health problems are just triggered with no turning back to the so called 'light'. Poor Vincent kind of had everything against him and because he felt so much he considered himself a bargain to his relatives, especially his brother and to the world itself when actually it was world who needed him, the other way round. I dunno, it's a sad movie about a misunderstood artist as many artist are, but what it's sad for me is that only after it's death he was fully recognised and appreciated, he painted dunno 800 paintings or more as it is said in the movie but only one was sold. What? Only one? That's not fair.
His whole life seems like it wasn't fair. :( I'm not even mad that he killed himself, I'm mad that his life was so unfair for everything he was and could have done, not only reaching but also showing his full potential to the world. But that's the thing with geniuses, they're never actually understood by others, how they can be when that's part of being a genius. I so like it when I'm stating the obvious, most of the time, captain obvious. :))

We all want to prove that we are good enough for something, it all starts like that wanting to be the best in something or  wanting to prove something, but what if that thing is so great or so big that we can't handle it, what if that thing is actually the impossible as it was for Vincent? We also can't go for something else as we're good at only that and nothing else. Well, what will one do in that situation? Of course he/she can dedicate his/her whole life to that sole thing but wouldn't it be all in vain if it is the impossible he/she wants to reach?

This movie really put me in state of writing all sorts of nonsense here and I am sorry but I really loved it and left me in state for more than 30 minutes before getting back to reality and trust me not all movies can do that.

Here's how it was actually made and the trailer. Happy watching! Seems like a lot of great, very hard-working people contribute in making this awesome movie and it just amazes me. It amazes me when many great people gather to do something awesome, people usually are really amazing.

The boy who just made his journey to deliver the letter, lost his job and had a great trip of self-discovering along with it, I loved it, I love this theme, I search for it everywhere in movies, in books, everywhere. Great Gatsby had something similar with that student who people called something like the third wheel in the story, no he isn't, his role is important, he gets to tell the tale at the end, these people who witness things get to tell the tale. I need this kind of trip too and I think a lot of people need it in their lives. Of course it's never like in the movies or books, how can it be but it's inspired from real life stories so it must have some reality in it. Just saying...

Now I'm just gonna have to get back to reality and eat something and other boring chores as time for these awesome hobbies I like keeping for myself is shrinking and shrinking as the years pass.


joi, 7 decembrie 2017

Still an unsettled, confused weirdo

When life gets boring again and you wonder what things or what you need more precisely to do to be happy with it more years and why you always need more and more and more. I realised it will take more years of changes and places and people and everything until to finally stop at something. The funny thing is when you realise it's not even finding the love of your life the key to bringing the endless happiness and the answers to all of your questions up until now as I've seen it is for so many women. They were exactly like me and all of sudden the right man casts away the confusion, the unanswered question and oh all of a sudden everything else doesn't matter. :))

Well, yes love does this it makes you stupid but as it may work for me at the beginning is just the illusion until some time passes and you get back to reality and to the fact that you'll never be happy with someone else if you can't be happy with yourself, of course and many things.

However, this isn't exactly what I wanted to talk about, what I wanted to talk about is that my mind is so restless always, I can't stop it, it always wants more, always has new ideas or things to do, to share, higher, better, sometimes I feel like I'm very weird because even though I'd love to do a lot of awesome things, I still don't know what my mind really wants, what I really love to do, I can never do one thing and that thing only it has to be more complex than that, it's sad at the same time because everyone around seems to already found their way intro the world or that thing they're really good at or that thing they really love doing for the rest of their lives and you're there too being like, me wants adventures, me can't settle, me is never happy with anything unless is complex or challenging :))) and they look at you like huuh, what are you talking about girl? :)) it doesn't leave me to live in peace this mind, never, it's not the heart, it's the mind who gets really bored as funny as it may sound.
I also read more and fast to feel like I don't live for nothing but sometimes not even that helps. Meh, what can you do then? You can change everything again and again, starting all over many, many times, just to feel that thrill of something new and not old and boring.

I'm not writting here all of these just to say to everyone omg lool how special I am, nobody is special we are all humans, on the contrary I could never ever feel superior or higher than anybody else, I treat everyone else the same no matter if you're a janitor or a director, I don't label, for me everyone is a human, I don't hate, I think hating is stupid, without logic in it, I'm not jealous, material things don't matter to me, the spirit and the mind does, what you think or what you do those things matter the most, not clothes or any other material things or anything related to the norms of the society. And of course I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

We can all live exactly how we want so who cares about the right thing to do or the must do things in order to achieve happiness.

Another saying: Oh, it's the age that's why, you'll see it gets better and better with age. Haha, how do you know? Yes, I'll probably be more wise when I'll be older or I'll want and think about other things but how can you be sure it'll be better or how do you know that I'll be in that way like everybody else, I'm already like everybody else, being in a corporation working, exactly the same pattern the society imposed on each and every one of us, I'm already like everyone, I'm the sheep, how I won't be a sheep anymore that depends on me again.

Another funny thing is when I contradict myself, told you I'm a weirdo, smth more complicated and so called complex comes up and I get scared and run from it thinking me I can't do that, then I come back and probably apologise or smth because I realise how unhappy and restless I am again. I so hate it when I do this to myself, but it's trainable, I'm dealing with it.

Oh and I tried all sorts of things and it's not even because I have too much time on my hands, I never have time but I always do make time for everything I wanna do because I really wanna do it so it's not about trying more  maybe it's something that I can't see, maybe it's about making the right choice instead of just doing all kinds of stuff to feel more useful, maybe it's maybelline. :))

And of course it's not about wanting more or being higher and higher as I've written above, I'm always very easily misunderstood by others around me, when I say more I mean spiritually, when I say higher I mean more interesting awesome things who in my mind are higher than useful boring old things everybody does in a society.

I'm really happy when I can see that I inspire others as me too I'm inspired by others or that I bring some kind of change without even realizing it but it doesn't help me, myself it just helps others a lot me with myself is still a confused weirdo. :))

Sau ce imi mai spunea mie cineva: Lasa fata ca esti desteapta, te duce capul asa ca o sa descoperi tu singura ce trebuie sa faci sau de ce ai nevoie. Da bine, de ar fi asa usor sa spui doar ca te descurci tu, daca eram asa desteapta ma descurcam si descopeream pana acum, just saying. :)

duminică, 3 decembrie 2017

The train accident

It really sucks to be in a train who just hit a car with people in it as I've heard and with a driver who decided to suicide himself because the car with him in it was posted there it couldn't just come out of nowhere in the middle of a field some metres away from the closest station. It is even harder to cope with the 2 hours delay when you have in front of you a woman who suffers tourettes and panicks and as the hours pass she seems to get worse and worse trying to calm her down when you, yourself can't be calm, I don't know if she needs her medicine because as I know tourettes can't be treated but she definitely needs something. In this moments you just wonder what you did wrong to deserve this? Where is your karma and many other bullshit stuff. :(

Tomorrow I'll have to wake up at 6 am in order to be at 8 at the office in Voluntari, to a job, let's be honest you don't really like but it pays what you need to stay someplace far away from that deserted hometown you come from at least you have a social life and some fun besides, and of course for a while it's much better than everything else you had before, however, talking about an hour and 15 min of traffic the same thing I got used to long time ago. But the difference now it will be that when I'll get to Bucharest now I'll have to catch a taxi who'll want to take me at that hour at 12 at night I hope we'll arrive(left the city at 17:30pm), considering there're a whole lot of other people who'll need taxi too of course. Of course, hoping that taxi will be fine and not getting into another accident, I'll finally be able to sleep a couple of hours, yaay.

And people wonder why do I complain all the time, well of course I complain because it sucks and because most of the time it's stupid or really stupid so why wouldn't I? When it wouldn't suck big time I'll stop, when it'll suck just a little I'll stop, but as long as  it sucks big time shut up and cope with me as I have to cope with all of you and many more. Amin.

Arrived at the apart at 12:30 night time all by myself, after I took a taxi at 12 and funny enough the taxi driver drove me at such a high speed passing through cars like nothing that he quite scared me considering the previous events. Thank you driver, hope I'll never have to take your taxi again. PS: I wasn't hurrying anywhere, don't drive like you're racing in the traffic. *facepalm*

 Aaaand to top it all off a part of my money/salary from my bank account at Raiffesen is miraculously gone. Fuck you Raiffesen, fuck you 'cause I don't even have time to come to the bank and make the biggest fuss ever but I'll do it tomorrow, I don't need your apologies and automated messages/sms of how it was a mistake, and they'll be back, it is monday and my money aren't back so if my money aren't back by tomorrow I'm coming to the bank no matter what and I don't know how you'll do it but bitch you better have my money. Stupid country. I don't recommend Raiffesen at all of course but it's the one chosen by the firm and the money are coming faster when you're at the same bank as others when is time for the viraments but me personally I recommend only BT and nothing else.

My money are back, aleluia, glad I didn't have to make that big fuss tomorrow but if you're getting me really angry in a bad day you better run, run as fast as you can, run for your life. :)))

vineri, 1 decembrie 2017

Happy Birthday Romanians!

I don't care how proud or not you are being from this country but I can tell you this: As long as you're here and actually living in this country with your ID and papers all from here let's exclude the birth certificate/romanian citizenship not that important but as long as you'll still here you are a romanian so Happy Birthday and set aside your theories about stuff you wish you'll change but can't and other stuff because as long as you're here with me/us we are all Romanians no matter how proud or not you are for being a Romanian, that's also really not important too.

When no longer will I be here then I'll say that I don't care or I won't mind stuff happening here but as long as I'm still a part of this country and as long as I'm still living here and contributing to stuff here with or without my consent I am and still be for some longer time a Romanian, so Happy Birthday to us who are still fighting it here. I'm very far away from being a nationalist/patriot but how can I not enjoy some free days all for myself no matter the context of it?

The rest just doesn't matter. I'm currently here, living the now so a merry happy birthday again you mad people!

They're quite popular here, this band

Rabda inima si tace.


duminică, 19 noiembrie 2017

In the Pursuit of Happyness

Work, work, work. Learn and work for a better future for myself. Hoping one day I'll also find my happiness wherever it may be, taking whichever form. Hoping all of this, all the years, everything won't be in vain.
But I know what we usually do inspire others without even knowing it as we're too preoccupied being in the process of doing it well to notice it, so it must have some good in it. It must have, some results, a finish line, the real happyness, the sweet, bittersweet relief. Hope I'll know how to enjoy it when the time comes. But this is another thing we can learn, not only to appreciate it, but to genuinely enjoy it.

Great show. :)

What a rusty voice, ugh

duminică, 12 noiembrie 2017


Some of the songs I enjoy

And of course lots of songs from Rihanna, the bad Riri version.
A lot of people talking about Untold and Tomorrowland being the biggest festivals in the world but nobody knows about the Burning Man. Such a pity. Take a look

And this filmed by that guy from the prankvsprank youtube channel, jesse

And this one the Baba City from soundcloud. 

And this one too

And a lot of songs from the Cowboy Bebop series. :D Forever.
Enjoy! :-*

sâmbătă, 11 noiembrie 2017

Coming back

I'm coming back. Couldn't find anything better, in fact I lost a lot of time and effort for nothing and I was also mocked in several interviews, some misogynists too and other bad stuff too, pff too many to talk about them all and even from so called big companies I haven't even imagined, but I guess you live and learn, so I'm gonna accept that offer for that position in the same company I am right now, if they still want me of course but as I see everybody runs from that position, haha, nobody wants to do it so who's gonna do it? Claudia, muhahaha. If not, I'm kind of screwed either way. :))) However, I don't have much time either way. Christmas is coming and so the new year, no time for anything else no more. I guess it's better to regret what you tried than what you didn't even try in the first place. I just gave up and run after the second day, haha. I admit it, I'm a baby, haha, the hours were many, extra, extra, so the stress of not knowing and learning so the fact of being in two places doing two jobs at the same time, one of it in training of course but I guess nothing good in life comes easy so enough with the complaining, I wanted something else but at the same time the same me did the opposite thing. Baby me, stupid me. :))

But now, I guess I'm not scared anymore. :)
I guess I'm growing up, I'm a big girl now or I'll very soon be one but first I had to see some things for myself I had to hit some walls in order to get to this point to realise stuff in general. That's me, very stubborn until the end. :-P I had some fights with myself, internally like, and how I am, I still have but it's ok, I'm alright now, I can do anything and the things I wish of, of course I can do them all and this is the right path for me now, I was just too blind or scared to see it, but it's alright, I just had to give it some time.

 As this song below says Give it some time, you just had to give it some time for everything to sink in, 'lil girl.
So give it some time, you'll be alright. :)

Growing up sucks, ugh, but it's the only way to achieving your dreams and wishes not running away, haha, *facepalm*.

What growing up looks like and probably feels like explained in this video below for couples. :-p
It's just about making the right decision, I guess. :) Let the past remain the past.

Songs for the weekend:

And this one is not really my style way too romantic for me, bleah but I like the video, I'd really love to go skiing or snowboarding someday or both why not?
And no, I'm not in love or anything, no worries in that department. :D

Have a nice weekend, gotta go.
Oh and I started watching Two and a half men, that TV Show cracks me up, everytime.
I'm gonna make myself a titan!

vineri, 3 noiembrie 2017

Leave Romania if you have brains!

I think I've seen enough of Romania and what it has to offer. Basically it's all about who's being the slickest of them all on one side with poor people trying to get day by day with so little working like slaves inhumane hours and on the other side we have the higher class whivh is all about fancy clothes, showing off but not much brain unfortunately, we don't like to think, we like other things. No wonder who has some brain leaves than staying here and hitting a wall everywhere. People make the place that kind of sorta thing, and very, very few good ones remained here, heros, survivors, struggles, hustlers I'm gonna call them but definetely not worth it. Many romanians are too good for this country and yes it is a struggle to leave on your own with nobody's help without having that kind of friend or anyone to help you when you're always poor and an honest man in a rotten country.

duminică, 22 octombrie 2017


         This is literally me whenever I have a crush, this song I mean. :)) As fast as it comes as fast it goes(my roommate knows better :)), oh youth, such a strange period of your life, such a time when you're always alive, maybe too alive. :)))
Funny that I was in a library yesterday one full with books only in english because as I said I want to read oly in English from now on to develop more of my vocabulary and I came across a book with love stories and those kind of romances of the '70s or '80 I don't even know. However, it had the exact same pictures this video from above has and it reminded me of this song.
When someone at work tells you, ah I feel so good now that I'm 35, it's so much better now because I'm more mature, I don't want to be your age ever again, life's so much better now than it was at 20 something age. I never want to go back. And I said well, I like it now and I'll like it even when I'll be old and ugly, who cares? And why would you want to ever go back? Life goes on. And what's so nice about being all mature and adult? :)) What's so nice about nothing surprising you anymore in life because you're all a smart expert who've been and seen a lot in life so you know how life is and how it works. What's so nice about losing the innocence, huh? I think every age has its benefits and its disadvantages and as it's impossible to remain at a certain age forever why not enjoy each and every stage of your life as you're probably have many life crisis either way. But I'll still be optimistic, until the end. :)))  
And no, I won't hide my age or enjoy those jokes of oh my god giiirl you look so young when you can definetely see my wrinkles after I hope 40 years old or more, let's just leave the hypocrisy at home and be honest with each other, what have you come for, what can I help you with, what do you need?, I don't like sugar coating and compliments which are never for free. I'm not that type of girl. :)) And I won't smile at you just because you think that I look prettier like that when I'm all full of work and stress. Women are not puppets or prizes for your amusement just because we look prettier smiling. I'll smile when I want to smile at you. :) But maybe I'm just too harsh and should just relax more, maybe.

Talking about life crisis at different stages of life. Maybe I have faithful readers just because they found something here or just because of my honesty, I'll always be honest about everything, my posts will always be honest, without any kind of shame, censor or curtain , masks(don't know the expression in english "fara perdea").Or maybe it's really nothing and nobody reads my stupid posts or it's just the curiosity still who cares? I write more for me than for others. And yes, it's public, and yes I don't care, we only have one life, unfortunately and it's a short one. If I'm not right we can always argue, I love arguing, without arguing everything will be so boring. If everybody likes each other, it'll be so boring.

And no, I don't smoke, I never will even if I tried that hookah thing, quite nice but tasteless and yes I drink occasionally or if I have a really bad day, depends. Martini is something I would try but enough with the drinks. :))
I watched this movie just because Japan and my obsession with this country and with South Korea too recently and it turned out to be quite ok. 
I also want to see that movie with Natalie Portman being a stripper with a pink wig, I forgot how it's called. See? That's why I'm always saying life's too short, you never have time for everything you wish for or it's just because I wish for too much. Maybe... Who knows? I don't. :)

And something more new

And this one is pure love and very classy at the same time

And this is sexy as hell aaand I'm gonna stop :))

sâmbătă, 21 octombrie 2017

Limits. Do I have any?

I sometimes sit and wonder do I really have any kind of limits? Until I almost reached all my limits last week and I realised of course that no money can cover the exhaustion I felt after working 12 hours + in a single day trying to be in two places/departments at the same time, one of them being my job, the other one in training, until I felt that I'm gonna collaps, no kidding. And I stopped and I wondered wtf am I doing? Only because they want me in another department which clearly is way too difficult for me right now with my level so they can force me to give up. No, I won't give up but also I won't force myself on doing things way above my physical and mental stage and preparations just to give me the illusion that I advanced, and yep it's no entry level this time, maybe that's why I feel so exhausted all the time I rather be at the front desk doing so much less complicated things and of course doing them better because there's a lot of work there too and a lot of hassle and rushing and many people so no, it's never siting around and I'm really fine with it, because I learned them so well rather than forcing on things that I didn't even have specialised studies for If they don't like me where I am right now bringing excuses like bla bla it's better for you in a real department , in a team well ok offer me something more entry level so I can learn from the start not from a senior level where you definetely need some skills I dunnot possess If not then fire me from the front desk, I don't care and you don't even have a reason for it because I'm getting better and better at doing it, no mistakes.  I thought about it a lot and probably if I get past all the recruitment process I'll leave everything behing and go to Poland soon enough as another offer rose up in  their central offices in Kracow and they want me there, well I'll go it'll be better than here, in terms of wage too, of course or I'll just search for something else here if I really can't stay where I am right now and still I won't leave until I'm not sure I have something else, I'm not that crazy on leaving things without a real back up plan or many back up plans. Or I'll just accept the offer the hr manager who first hired me where I work right now got me after she herself left the company shortly after I came. :)) Even if it is everything in French which I know but not my dream language to work with, still English is my passion and the best I'm into but of course I'll give it a try. I'm kind of dissapointed that from all that big corporation of not really two but three big floors all they managed to come with was smth that I didn't even wanted, even if it is from the same department I wished to be into, it's not what I asked for and still I know there are other positions that I really can manage doing them but they offered me exactly the one which was not for me and they know this, of course. Well, fuck them. I'm not gonna destroy my health for them, it's not worth it.

Let's all laugh as it's only the beginning of it all, but to be honest it's really not worthing all the money in the world because nothing can cover the challenges and the kind of changes it brings to your personality and to your everything. I sat at the table on Friday and saw a woman talking to herself and many more like her and thinking well fuck it I don't wanna become like her. :)) No thanks. I'm really ok with where I am right now, no need for smth else, you don't like me there fire me or offer me smth else. :)

Some tell me well yeah everywhere you go in the beginning it's very difficult and it sucks especially when you don't know anything and it really is I can't count the times when I reached my limit, I can't count the times when I said that's it I cannot continue anymore in the same pace, but guess what? I did it, I always did a bit more than the limit and it became easier and easier because this is how it goes but it was definetely smth else than what I'm supposed to do right now so yeah we'll see, I never say no, but maybe sometimes it's better so say no, just so you can find something way better worth fighting for. So we'll see how it all goes. I'm still always be proud of myself I really changed in good, I'm better than before and getting better and better and still the youngest one there who managed to survive so much time there haha, I sometimes really can't believe I'm only 23 and did so much. Wonder how I'll be at their age, certainly way, way better and not in Romania of course.

Need to see this show
I also reccomend Rick and Morty.

I still love life very much I'll always be a life lover no matter what it brings, I always can't get enough from it. :) I definetely need more lives for my unrested mind and body.

And the most recent picture of me, the one I did today. I think I still look good but of course I got the permanent dark circle everybody has here, I cover them with make up all the time. :)))

marți, 19 septembrie 2017

In Other News

Hello, blogger.com my old friend. I have to keep you updated on things just because.
So, first things first, I’ve managed to get ourselves an apartment in this period of september where the prices are way up to the top because the students are coming. I am happy and I also hope it won’t left us pennyless in winter with its costs. J)) It was needed either way, I can’t live in that dormitory again, my job is stressful not like other people think, I need a good place to rest, cook(at least learn to), a real home. In other news I was proposed (it was a joke of course but still I have a feeling that guy is too serious for this century, haha) I refused no worries, he’s not even in Ro so how could I? It was funny though.
I kept being asked why I didn’t apply for a master, well I really don’t like to give explanations for anything regarding my actions in life because I don’t like to, because it’s not your business and just because every little action is well calculated, I know why I do that, or that and it’s really nobody’s business why or how I’m living my life. One thing is that since I’ve come to Bucharest I’ve been working in two shifts, meaning one week I am in the morning 8-5 one week in the afternoon 11-8 and again in the morning and so on so forth. Girl at the front desk have this program with me, another reason why I’m gonna move to the hr department just so I can be with the other department meaning everything in the firm with the same programme which is 9 till 6, one hour is the break to eat and everything.  It’s not the only reason why I didn’t want a master. With the contacts I’ve made here it’s quite a big firm here in Ro, hundreds of people only where I work, still a lot more in other cities from all around Romania and of course it’s definetely not for everyone, I still can go whenever I want, wherever I want(but I won’t because I’m not stupid like you may think, I need at least a year of work experience well usually it’s asked for two full years at least and I like it here, I don’t even mind the position or the two shifts at least for now because I like the envirnment and the people) when you’ll be still leaving with your mommy and daddy at home being so proud by your masters at a no name university in a no name city, deserted. Experience and real, good skills are the key, that’s only a paper, I know so many people with two universities and masters that they can’t find a simple job just because they’re not good enough, a lot of examples from bucharest too. I’m not saying it’s not important especially when you’re getting at an age when you’ll want to be a manager or a director but it’s time for that too. You can do that course whenever you want either way and yes I’ll do it, it’s not your business when, where and how and what’s gonna be and if I won’t it’s still not your business. What I don’t like are closed-minded people who are too preoccupied with other instead of themselves. Thta’s why you’lle never be successful, you’re too preoccupied with what others are doing with their lives insteas of your own. When I’ve come to bucharest I was so happy that finally nobody gives a damn about me here just because everyone was too preoccupied with themselves and their own lives to even have time to even think about what other are doing. It becomes a real problem when you have too much time on your hands. The thing is that I’m good and I know that I am so of course I’ll get the best from life. Other things are not important.
It’s also not your business when I’ll leave Romania because this is a thing that I’ll ceratinly do, it’s one of my long term dreams and wishes. I like to do exactly what I want with my life, I’ve always did it like this with no explanations needed for my each and every move, not even to my parents and hopefully they have a big trust in me that I’m gonna make it wherever I want, by myself. They know me, they have that big trust that I so much appreciate. And of course I’ll achieve all of my dreams and wishes no matter what, sooner or later or much later, life is longer than you may think.

It’s funny because I’ve also seen my ex with someone else for the first time not in real life but still, I was at a concert and I was happy. I really don’t know why he did want us to meet in August when he was in Romania, no, we didn’t talk at all as others may think, until last month(maybe talk about on how our lives changed a lot in a year or almost two years, I don’t even remember, haha and plans for the future) but he was happy that I finally got rid from my hometown and I was too very happy for him that everything goes well with his life and that he’s gonna move with our old friend from Transilvania this month as I so hoped for a big reunion well at least for them because me is still in Romania, haha. Maybe for the future. Maybe a business one, haha. ;) However, I’m happy that he still wants to be a University teacher, he always wanted this and he’ll be such a great researcher, no matter where I’ll be,  I want to give my children and grandchildren to his university/courses so I really hope he’s gonna be a teacher. ;)

I’m also planning on writing a book, I know it sounds very „cliche” but still I don’t care, it won’t be about my life maybe inspired from life itself because I think life is really, really interesting and I still haven’t seen nothing, just the beginning of it.

Oh and funny thing besided jealousy, „invidie” the usual things that come when you’re changing your life for the very better, now we also have bodyguards at the firm so hey I feel safer now, I’m joking they’re not for me of course :)) but still they’re funny. I think it’s better for the firm if we go internationally meaning not only with China it will be a shame to be number one only in Romania, just my humble opinion. :-p And I’m gonna shut up because hey, I’m not allowed to say more.

duminică, 10 septembrie 2017

Dreams, future, plans

Made it with my papers to that stupid ajofm, got rid of them once and for all, treated my ears because in my second week in bucharest I caught otitis so great yeah like I didn't have enough problems but no worries, I can deal with almost anything from amount of work at the job to amount of personal, familial, health problems, I'm truly a real fighter. Father is well again as he was in hospital in july too. Now I've been back home for the first time since I left to change my summer clothes to the autumn ones as I don't think I'll get back here sooner than x-mas time. The only thing left to do this month is to move to an apartment with my roommate so we won't have to leave in that miserable baptist dormitory or any kind of dormitory ever again, however we can't as we're not students anymore but either way I wanted to move from a long time but a lot of things got in my way now that all of them all solved and I can rest and focus only on this aspect. Of course we won't have the same amount of money we have now as the cost of utilities and everything involved with an apartment of any kind in bucharest are quite expensive for our age, money, experience and everything so we're not having many expectations or "pretentii". I also have to get my diploma from that 5 days course I did in July  in bucharest sponsored by the firm which by the way I didn't receive and I know it's september, I'll get it these days too. And another diploma(from that joke of a university from my hometown, where everyone gets to pass without any kind of effort, but hey it's a bachelor's degree so it's important) I also have to get next year in 2018, then or never. I want to stay here in Romania for at least a year, I'm actually hoping for at least 2 years as I want to get some work experience and possibly a better position but it's not really about the position as it is more about the work experience which I lack as the 8 months in my hometown weren't taken into account, what a waste. That's why I'm gonna ask for a paper or anything to demonstrate that I worked for x months, years somewhere for the future as it will be recognized everywhere. The bureacracy here kills me, only in Romania they ask for a lot of papers for every little thing, only in ro we have legalised translations, "notar", "stampila" and many more stupid little papers, bureaucracy as they are called, in other countries everything is electronic or on your mobile phone, or cards, etc. In Ro, we like having a lot of papers for everything and you have to go there to get something so you can bring it to another place in order for dunno what. In ten or more years the job I'm doing right now, won't even exist as I'm seeing everything getting technologised, correspondency too, posta romana si asa e cam pe duca si outnumbered de alti curieri sau de internet, tehnologie. Totul va fi electronic cum deja si este in foarte multe tari mai civilizate si mult mai dezvoltate. Oh, and to make myself an actual passport another thing on my bucket list.

Things for the far, far future that I don't think I'll ever have time to do them ever again but I don't regret anything as I have another dreams and wishes/plans to take care of. They are: doing a master's degree( I don't think I'll get to do this but I don't regret it as I didn't have who knows what course in my mind) and a thing for the far future that I'll have to do is to get my driving license, but for the far future now I have other things in my crazy mind that doesn't let me sleep peacefully each and every night. :)

After everything will be in place and after I'll solve the many things left undone that I'll have to do, I'll go for uk and afterwards I'll leave europe for good, hoping for asia(south korea, japan, singapore) or america(new york or dunno), well I'm a city girl, I'll always be a city girl, bigger, better. :)

I think for now that's all, if I have something else in mind I'll go back here and write in romanian-english ca sa ma descarc, ha!

Another thing I have to do is to exercise my english skills and knowledge, conversational skills as they're getting pretty bad, I'm reading books only in english now so I can enrich my vocabulary, I'm actually interested in the business ones. :D

joi, 17 august 2017


Starting December, I'll probably be in Uk, near London and in London and Scotland, Edinburgh, Aberdeen, doing some visiting there too. Long story, actually a short one but however, just wanted to keep things posted just because I'm quite excited about everything. :)

                Good luck to me! :)) what can I say. I hope to get to visit home too because I still don't have time to do this and it becomes harder and harder to get myself back home at least for a weekend when things are always happening, but I promise I will, at least for the bed I have there, my bed. :)
               Cheers! Still no router and internet but it's not that much of a problem anymore. Phones can do them all, afterall. ;)
     And my roomie is leaving me by myself this weekend, she's going to the seaside too just like everyone else or mountains however. No problem 'cause I still have some company here but I'll miss her like we're so used being together and living together that I feel like something is really missing if she leaves even for 3 days or less. :)))

PS: I changed a lot in a very short period of time and I am glad. I had to either way. Still so more changing to do until I'll be quite unrecognisable. :)

duminică, 6 august 2017


Because they're 40 degrees Celsius outside and I feel like the sun is frying my brain so I start listening to any random song that has a pool in the video. I'm bubblin' in this weather, help.

The country of extreme temperatures both in winter and summer.

duminică, 9 iulie 2017

Adventure Time (Edited)

From the first time I put foot in Bucharest a lot of things happened to me. Starting from the beginning I had a 20 kilo troller of clothes and stuff with me and trying to carry it made me lose my right shoe in the middle of the street. Jumping in one foot with the luggage and people laughing at me was quite a sight. Afterwards the first night at a private baptist students dormitory was quite funny me with a tattoo in a place with very religious people and bells ringing each saturday and sunday morning. However me and roomie are allowed to stay here only until the end of september because we're not students anymore, she's working too. Either way we'll want to rent an apartment closer to our work so I won't have to change two buses and twi subways to get there lol. One fridge that doesn't work and messy wc it's not really a pleasant stay too. However, I had interviews each day from wednesday to friday but two of them were at global city business centre in bucharest, there are two very big building there I had an interview on each one at different days of course which was kind of funny. However I met a recruitor on thursday from a different company somewhere in the centre of bucharest and I liked it. I was quite thrilled about it that I went to rent a bike in Herastrau park afterwarda. There I lost my phone and so the drama begins. We have no router and internet the only internet I have is the one from my phone, mobile data one which consumes my battery in like two hours. :)) however you understand my panick without a phone here you are lost and you can't to anything anymore. Even through jobs you are applying on your mobile and you expect calls and stuff so very important. I lost it on thrusday I had to get back on the other side of Bucharest where I'm living right now without google maps and trying not to get on the wrong subway and bus because it's quite a very big city. I went back to the dormitory somehow after an hour or so waiting for my colleague to finish work. My colleagues and parents tried to reach me, called me etc., of course I couldn't answer I had no phone. They found me very late after searching for me in the city, kind of alerted everyone on that day. I called Orange suspended my phone number as my parents told me to try on friday next day to buy another very cheap phone with the same number just so I could be called for interviews and stuff. That evening, very late checking my mails from my roomies phone I find an email from that recruitor telling me that a woman named Coca from Turda called her that day telling her that she found my phone in Herastrau park and gave me her number to get it back. She told me that I had there the business card from where I went to interview and that's how she could get to call the firm and get to me because the phone also had no battery left and was shut  because yes I needed internet and google maps. :)) I was shocked, couldn't believe it, my number was already suspended. So I asked my roomie to go meet the lady after work because I had an interview in the afternoon at global city again, another building and firm. Called my parents told them I'll get my phone back. I bought another sim card with the same number because I thought orange suspended it like I asked them to. I never liked those people from Orange, they're always trying to steal more money from you with their very expensive  mobile subscription services so as panickrd as I was now I have a   them for 6 months, great. Afterwards I'll switch with Vodafone. If I won't be broke by the time I get my  paycheck it'll be a miracle. However, I went to the interview that day with  no kind of watch or clock on , I asked in the shops nearby what time it is and I stayed 4 hours in the sun having no time or anything like that. They were late as they apologised later for the delay. :))) the interview was great, the girls from reception loved me always smiling, went straight back home found my phone my roomie brought it back to me, her birthday was that day too it also had the  buses and subways tickets because yes I lost that too, another money thrown on another tickets. That lady gave it back intact with all my stuff there. She didn't even accept a reward or something telling her she also has nephews. I couldn't believe it, I thought it was going to be sold or smth. My number was also intact, it wasn't suspendin, great but that sim card and subscription, I'm stuck with it.  I was called the next day like today to come again there to meet the ceo and talk about that job from friday, initially I thought they'll call me on monday but they changed their mind lol. Had to take the taxi to voluntari that's where it is GCBP because saturday and no buses . A woman tried to steal my taxi, I pushed her aside I was quite angry this is very important to me not your bar you want to go, take your own taxi, the taxi driver laughed and gave me the change saying that I'm quite determined and funny lol. I've met the ceo after he finished his meeting in a pair of sandals that were ripped apart like literally, very  cheap  and I was like trying to hide them behind the table so he won't see it. He was very chill and told me straight away  I can start anytime  he's looking for more people to start a very cool  project  and that after a year or so after he gets all the people if I like it there I can be the project manager only if I  want to, I thought he was joking as I went there to be a receptionist as  this is what I worked for 8 months like a slave for almost no money :)))) of course it will be very stressful we're talking about 400+ people I'll be working with and I was looking like you're really not joking like it's this a dream, somebody please pinch me. He also said something about being that person who helps people rent or buy luxurious apartments. However there are many departments like marketing, management or dunno, many options. It was a complete silence and a very formal shake of hand at the end and a ok now you can call your parents to tell them everything is fine you have a job. Welcome to the reality kid. The firm is altex so you know their products. I have a feeling that I'll like it either  no matter what I'll do, at least for some longer time. I went to  buy myself some shoes from deichman because I really have no shoes besides sandals and sportswear. I was the only one on that gcbp bus because I found out there actually were some buses that day but one every hour or so on saturday  the driver was starting to ask me stupid question like what I was doing there all alone in that building etc. Why can't people just mind their own business? I'll never understand this. I didn't accept his one week free and I wanted to start right away from monday because I really like those offices on the 10th floor. I'll be  working with some very cool people, many starting their own lives from zero just like me. It was quite an adventure and the really hard work only now begins. I know it sounds like a comedy movie with all these obstacles in  life  but this is exactly everything that happened.I'm writing  from my phone and auto correct pisses me off. My parents told me to be careful and watch my health as I am quite careless with it and to not push myself too much.
PS: My roomie is talking in her sleep, I think she's still stressed after our first failed attempt to rent something. :))))And I missed neversea and some days at the seaside, damn it.

duminică, 2 iulie 2017

America first, Romania second! #video

You're thinking that in America you have many big problems now with Trump? Well, come to Romania, I'm sure you'll find the same problems and even more, probably even bigger and all amplified by the fact that the poor ones become poorer and the rich ones become richer no matter what you'll do, kind of like a vicious circle you can't ever escape, except if you want to migrate of course.
Watch this video for more info about our beautiful country, maybe you'll want to visit it someday. :)



miercuri, 28 iunie 2017

Click for Rihanna :))

Super mega happy! Who has an interview tomorrrow? Meee! Who has another 3 interviews next week in Bucharest? Meeee! Who's going to move to Bucharest next week? Meee! Who might get a place in a very awesome big paid internship next week in Bucharest? Meee! I said just maybe about the last one so no jumping or anything, gotta take my best white shirt for that one, I really missed that shirt. However, I'll be very happy either way no matter the result just because. :)) After weeks when I couldn't even sleep because of the stress and everything and no, I couldn't go anywhere knowing the situation I was in, I stayed at home to watch everything on the internet, paying attention to everything, like a snake(couldn't find any comparison) so I can get my chance, so I can be the first to apply to almost everything. I just had to go through all the assessments and applying each and every day to almost everything and wait because that's what you do when you really want something. I really can't have fun if I don't get what I want and if I'm not rested with my mind and with something, anything, so I can feel better with myself so I can party like it's the end of the world afterwards. I am persistent and hard working, for me fun and breaks are only when I am satisfied with myself and with what I have then at that moment. Now I am happy that I can finally get some sleep because I'll finally have some interviews and I am satisfied with everything and with myself. I am proud. Like hell, I've survived 8 months with so little social life almost to zero so of course I'll survive this, not that I haven't tried or anything, I'm quite sociable to be honest, is just that this city is quite dead for me, has been for a long time, but I had a different escape before but now having no more school it was even more dead than ever before. And I also changed so much as a person over the years that certain things and people just won't work for me anymore, no offense to anyone really, there're many still here who are very cool but none of us has business with each other anymore, that's all, not saying about my god, the boredness, the boredness was too strong. But as I wanted that much to leave with my own money, I didn't care about anything, I did it. It doesn't matter anymore, it's done, it's finished, it's history as I like it to say. Now I'm finally more chill, I've seen things, I've learned my lessons, still many more to learn.

This month was probably the hardest I've experienced in a looong time, do that, finish that, all the papers in order, go there, do that, do this, remember that, conferences with the girls about the apartment, let's not fight again, let's not bring another person only one person knows about, like really, we're enough already, still I'm glad she didn't bring a boy or a child to live with us, it could have been worse :)) with an animal I agree, better bring an animal than a person, I know we're not allowed, just joking :))) that's way too expensive, that looks horrible, that is too far away, not enough space, not enough rooms, with shower or with bathtub, ugly furniture, who cares? :)) Just give me a bed to sleep, I have other things to worry about, agencies screwing with us when visiting and many more (To be honest I felt like I was in a comedy sitcom or something, I kind of expected it, but still) we will all suffer so much, I'm already imagining it but we'll be all so busy that we'll stay there just to sleep, only then we'll see each other, oh and in weekends but I'm sure we'll be also gone in weekends too, at least I know I will :))), everybody is rushing, everybody wants to move quickly next week so they don't waste money, everybody is nervous, everybody is under pressure, everybody hopes for the best because I'm not the only one now who's looking for a job again. At least a person is thinking straight and is not rushing, doing it properly and it isn't me. She knows herself. ;) Me, now I can't be, but I'll be, soon enough. This month was hell on earth and guess what it's only the beginning, yaay! Because of a certain someone I'm using this emoticon :)) more than I should when texting. I'm so dreaming of those weekends at Therme, after everything finally settles for me. What can possibly happen more this month that haven't already happened? An earthquake or something 'cause all the other things already happened.

Well, at least nothing can stop me now. Once I get my wings there's no turning back. I'll never ever put foot in this city again, only if there's an emergency or something but I don't think I'll do it even then, yeah, I'm like that, a horrible person, don't like to look back. Doesn't mean I won't remember how I started, who was there and who wasn't, neva'.
I'll just go on and on until I'll also never see this country ever again so I'll be happy, if I'll get angry enough, probably not even the continent but ook one step at a time, one step at a time, I have a lifetime for it anyway. :)

If you want to see Rihanna without a bra watch this, like it's not the first time either way :))
 I so need a good party to dance until I lose myself a bit, just a bit.

Santana, where are you? Sounds like your guitar but I can't see you because Rihanna covers the whole screen. It should be called Rihanna&The Others. Dj Khaled looks like that kid from school who's trying way too hard to be cool like the other kids. We know it, we've all been there. :)) Jokes aside, I'm addicted to it, just for the time being.
 I like this one too
 Cheers and may God/Jesus/Buddha/Allah/Jedi watch upon us this summer!

 I'm sure this will be my last blog post and I'm sad but happy at the same time because that means that I'll have better things to do in my life than writing in a blog all day, everyday. At least I'm honest about it.  Will come back to it from time to time, maybe I'll write something, maybe I won't, really don't know, can't predict the future. :)
And one more thing: I don't accept friend requests from strangers. If we never talked or see each other or if we don't have some mutual friends there's really no need to stalk my profile. I don't need to show a big number of friends on my facebook profile. Thank you!  :)
And God how much I love this woman, Mia she even directs her own music, that's how badass is she.

duminică, 25 iunie 2017

Communication Part. 2

22 and 23 years old, the ages when you try almost everything in order to see what fits you better, the age when many means better, the age when I hope I'll never ever in my whole life be more confused as I am right now, I actually don't think it is possible to be more than this, the age when, how someone used to say, when you could completely ruin, change or succeed the rest of all your life in matter of days or months. I so hate these years from all my heart, I want them to pass quickly :)) how can someone say oh, how awesome, so young, so innocent, so great, so bla, bla bla, no, it's not great at all, these years are stupid, don't tell me with the mind you have now that you're thinking that when you were 22, 23 you liked everything and knew everything and weren't even a bit confused, don't tell me that you love those years because I'm sure you didn't have the money, comfort, experience and life you have now at 30 let's say. It's just an example. I think  these years are probably the most stupid ones from our lives because yes, we may have education but that's just it, in rest we're pretty much newbies in like everything so what are we doing besides school, jobs, partying and discovering ourselves? Not much. One may say, ok, but I had a lot of time back then. No, I don't think you had more time, you were just doing different things that's all, the time was the same. I'm talking about adults without children because otherwise there's a completely different story. That's a certain full time job for all your life if you're enrolling.

I still think these are the most stupid years of our lives even if you may say that you're not like this because you figured out everything by now, because you kind of did everything from school, travelling, jobs to marriage or even children haha, I know some fellows who think like this, I still highly doubt you if you figured out everything being under the age of 25, I really don't believe you no matter what because something is certainly missing from the whole perfect image you show of the "perfect" life of yours where you quickly did everything you were supposed to do so your family are all very proud now and at peace that everything is sorted out for you so they don't have to worry and wait no more for anything they wish for you to happen in the future because you already did them all. You should feel like life not even began not that you're already tired of it. I'm not saying you shouldn't make your parents proud, make them proud they deserve it big time but there's always different ways in which you can make someone very proud. :))

However, that's not what I wanted to point out in the blog post, it is only about my personal opinion on how I think these years from 22 to 25 are in general and why I hate them, you may love them but don't tell me that you're at your best, nobody really is, no matter what.

Probably the only good thing is that your health and energy are the best so you're at your best only physically speaking, pretty important but that's all. I'm waiting for counter-arguments and different opinions, please argue with me, haha. That's why I have to see much more things, I've seen way too little.

This version is also awesome, modern like

 Pretty awesome these movies, T1 and T2. I liked T2 more. I don't think at all that they glorify or promote drug addiction, actually I think they give you the don't do drugs feeling with that scene with the baby which was very disturbing for me, no movie made me feel more sick to my stomach than this one. :) Watch also American Gods, it's pretty awesome. I've also played Oxenfree, not now, a while ago and it's awesome. The game To The Moon will continue the story with Finding Paradise, can't wait for it because I'm such a geek and I wanted to say something else but of course I forgot, another recommendation because you know me, I like to share everything. :)

T1 (1996)
 T2 (2017)

Read also the book written by Spud even if it's all full of Scottish slang.