marți, 28 martie 2017

About today (Edited)

People asking me what I want for my birthday? I tell them what I always wished in this life of mine: money, lots and lots of money, bathing in money if possibly, a tattoo(I did that already, it's posted on my instagram :) (and health of course but if I'll ever have a very big health problem I'll prefer to die than to force myself to live a certain life, I'm not that strong like those people) and I'm not joking and to be only my money of course and to be legal of course :)) but pay attention 'cause I don't want them for showing off(actually I'll be that kind of person who'll disappear, in search for happiness haha, sounds dumb I know) I don't need them for making others jealous, I don't look for any kind of acceptance or status or power, I don't even want them for who knows what kind of depravating lifestyle, nope, I want them for an escape, a very, very good escape and for having no worries for the far future, that will make me the happiest woman on earth, the key to depending on yourself and only yourself and of course nobody else depending on you and to escape somewhere far away and to be just me, myself and my money without a care in the world but somewhere where the world and the mentality and lifestyle is completely different than how it is in Romania :)) and somewhere where I can do only and only what I like and enjoy, nothing else more or less, I won't care about loneliness if the place can offer me all the things I enjoy to occupy my mind and my body and if it can be an escape of the so many things I don't like and will never like. I want to smile genuinely for the first time in many years and say that I'm really happy without faking it or pretending that it's all ok and without worrying about tomorrow or about next month and I want it to be in a way that nobody can take that smile off my face and for that I need lots of money. Many want and search all their lives for beauty, love, friends, kids, making a family or on the contrary parties, travelling or who knows what fancy lifestyle they think of, me doesn't want any of that, especially nothing related to family or kids or anything similar to that, because I know I'll be terrible at it :D I don't even want a rich fancy lifestyle because it will bore me to death, having everything at your disposal, it just makes you become lazy and arrogant and not so intelligent, it doesn't challenge your brain to have everything at your disposal so no good for me, me wants an escape, a really good one and enough money to survive and the hardest part of everything in this life, only beautiful people by my side, beautiful souls, people kind of like me who still try to keep their innocence intact for as long as they can that's the hardest thing to find or ok let's just say beautiful souls and that's all, maybe it sounds too pretentious to want more. If I'll change my mind and search for power and status or who knows what my mind and heart will want, that's another story for when I'll get older but me is really not the type of person that money will make me crazy or a terrible person, I know it because I just know it. :-P Love and peace for everyone, I'm that kind of person I wish love and peace even for those who definitely don't deserve it, just spread the joy and be honest with yourself and others, that's all that matters. :) Of course if you make me angry and hinder me in any way or want me the worst in this life or get in my way or my happiness just so you can satisfy your greed of who knows what, I'll wish the worst to happen to you too :)) but in the end I'm quite peaceful haha, what you'll offer me I'll offer you, as simple as that, only the fair way, what you give, I give or vice versa, always a fair exchange. And I'll try to use someone's advice and watch my back and only my back all the time because that's a very, very good advice, I won't forget it. ;)

I need all of the above all that escaping part because I really need to think on my own and to experience many things I haven't and after that to think again even harder until I'll find my happiness. But first I want my revenge and it's gotta be on paper and the problem is that it has to be a very, very good one, a big one, otherwise it's not really a revenge. It can take 5 or 10 years or just a year, lol, who knows, don't care as long as it will happen. I have my many reasons for many years not just because of the present, the present is just the tip of the iceberg. When I say that I never forget, I really never forget. That's why kids you should never, ever play with someone's feelings :) But first the escaping of the Galatz city :)) because this is of utmost importance right now(one step at a time, even if I would like it to be one big step 'till I'm still young :))




sâmbătă, 25 martie 2017

Maturity or not?! To be or not to be? (Edited)

Later Edit: I finally remembered what I said I was missing at the end of this looong blog post. I actually had a moment when I was at reception of course and I still am(because yes, I told you I'm doing them all, all for so, so little money that you can't even imagine and I'm not pretentious on this one, I'm serious when I say that for very little money but this is Romania, including all the things related to cleaning, moping the floor, wc and all of that stuff on a daily basis that I started to notice some muscle on my right hand and I'm not joking, studied my heart out all the time, trying to be the best in everything I did and oh how many things I did, taking all those exams and everything that had to be done, including extracurricular activities including passing the Cambridge exam to do this in the end, if I knew it would be like this I most certainly wouldn't have studied all the time, I would have partied all day and night long with no care in the world and yes, I know life's a bitch, but no worries my time will come too and I'll take my revenge hundredfold if needed, I sound like such a frustrated person, ugh) but either way I wanted to say that when I was at reception, a parent was talking with some of our teachers about their pupil's brilliant future and how of course she wants to be the best and etc., etc. That really moved me because I never had or I really don't remember somebody fighting so hard for me like that mother did for her kid(too bad the kid is not yet able to realise it) but most important of all it made me think very, very selfishly, because I thought exactly this: "What about me? What about my dreams and wishes, what about my future what if I want my future to be as brilliant as this mother wants for her child?" And that's when I realised how could I be able to teach someone else, anybody else if I'm not happy with myself and my life, if I not feel at all fulfilled in any way and I think so selfishly to want that kid's future. That's just imposible and not fair to them, inocent souls and it really suprised me. But I knew exactly why, because I knew how hard I fighted since I was in high school and what my dreams were then and how is the reality now, exactly what I did not want from the very start but I forced myself a whole lot because of not another option and because it's better than nothing. But now I finally realised how wrong it is to force yourself to do something just because it's the right thing to do and just because you don't have any other options. And I did it all the time thinking that eeh it's ok, it will help me in the future, yeeah right, it helped me big time to lie to myself all the time, what can I say now, it just made me more and more bitter to the point of not giving a f*ck about anything be it a child or a  human being or anything else including family and thinking only and only about myself and I'm not overreacting, I simply can't care as a normal person anymore, I'm that self-centered and I know they were only my choices and decisions, not somebody's else but the problem is that I still have to live with them. Cute grandparents who take care of their nephews also moves me a lot, basically all the things I didn't have when I was their age. :) The conclusion from all of this is to just not force yourself to do something just because it's the right thing to do when the options are so little, I sometimes really think that I gave up too easily before even trying what I really wanted since I was in highschool that being to leave the country of course(everybody knows this already and they still ask me, haha :)) actually I tried, I tend to be pretty harsh to myself, perks of being a perfectionist and that's called cowardice, the flaw I most despise in a person, very close to lying and I also tend to sabotage myself for no reason at all when it's all right there in front of my eyes and very easy to just take it, school related :)), that's called being scared of something very trivial when you know you did things way, way more difficult and scarier, haha or kind of like being a baby, if you've seen that movie "la la land" there's a scene there when he tolds her that she's a baby for almost turning down her one chance at a different life just because she's very hurted and tired of all the failures she encountered in many years, something very characteristic to me, also. (I'm not ashamed, I admit my stupid flaws, I work on them all the time believe it or not).


I've just read this very interesting article on VICE called "What it's like to teach teenagers when you're in your 20s?" about what it's like to be a teacher at a very young age, especially in your 20s. What can I say from my very little experience(it's not much at all but I like to brag about how I'm a great observer) is that you have to be a strong, hard working person but beyond this you have to accept and be able to mature like a whole lot in a very short period of time and I know many can't accept it, that's why it's not for everyone. Clearly, your life won't be the same, no social life or very little and parties will become less interesting among many other things. You can accept this and mature a lot at a very young age(22 is a very young age for this career, trust me I know what I say :D) either you want it or not(you're kind of forced to do it either way, haha, there's no other way) or it can all backfire at you and make you do stuff you know you didn't do at the right time or better said things you won't normally do just because you'll realise that soon you won't be able to do them anymore, no more experimenting or doing stupid, dumb stuff just because this is what teaching will do to you, it will mature you and bury you in a pile of responsabilities and many other things that you'll have to be very mature and to have reached that full natural growth as a person to be able to survive(it's kind of like having a child at a very young age but on a professional level, but I may be wrong I don't know exactly if it's like this so give me the benefit of doubt just on this one) and yes you can tell me all the things about being it a passion and what you most like in life so it's less harder because you adore it and you're helping people, bla, bla, yes, we all know the reasons you want to do it but at the end of the day we know the consequences it has on us and we're learning to deal or not to deal with them on a daily basis, depends on the person :)) soooo that's why it's much harder when you're in your 20's when maybe you're still discovering yourself and being a teacher doesn't need that anymore, it just needs stability to be able to be a role model for others and that needs closure in everything related to yourself but nobody can really talk about closure when they're 22-23 or even older, depends on your emotional intelligence too. :D Furthermore, if you think to do it for the money or to make money as we need it at this age, better walk out the door and never come back because this is not for you. :) Aaaand also a big warning for those people who hate the routine in their lives, this career is wonderful yes, you are the boss in your class and there are very few chances you'll be exploited and treated as a slave as it happens in many other jobs so yeah it's wonderful but it's a big routine, a magnificient one yes, but still a routine. You can argue with me and say it's not true at all, I love people who speak up their minds, only if they have great, valid arguments to their point of view, and tell me that it all depends on you and that you're the master of it so you can make it not a routine but something else I don't know, being creative it's all it takes after all. You can do that of course but I think, just my opinion, that children won't need it and there's a big chance of failure but I won't deny it, I'll just say it's risky that's all, like many other things teachers try to do in their first year or years, probably a year is more than enough. However, I admit it, it's the best start you can get in life, it lets you discover yourself in so, so many different ways like nothing else can. It makes you a better person and brings the best in you, many traits you didn't even know you possess in the first place, it lets you overcome all your past or present fears if you had some, that's why it's wonderful for the person that does it, properly. I bolded this, because it's very important. :) In the end, I like to say that our minds are our greatest power and we can use it in so many different ways, for good or for bad. It sounded so fancy that I had to write it. :-P
No paragraphs again, I'm sorry. :( I know it's harder to read it like this. I had a lot of things in my mind that I wanted to say so I hope I covered them all in this blog post but I still get the feeling that I'm missing something, hmm. If I'll know what it is I'll come back and write it here of course. Until then, happy weekend!
 Oh, and this is the article, it's pretty much what I said, that's why I liked it in the first place, buut with something extra about a more taboo subject if I can call it like this that I'm very sure every young teacher experienced it at least once, especially younger girls or women who look young, you get the idea. :D Happy reading, it's a very good article, it says what it has to be said, typical for VICE: https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/what-its-like-teaching-secondary-school-kids-when-youre-in-your-twenties






sâmbătă, 11 martie 2017

Boogie Woogie (Edited)

I don't remember if I've posted about these guys yet, but it doesn't matter anymore because I'll say a couple of things about them now. They are from Sweden, brother and sister, they look like twins but they aren't, sister is older, and they are very talented, obviously and I very much like the rock n' roll dance and style and everything related to it so what's not to like about them?

I think that this is real dancing and having fun, not your booty wiggle, jiggle, twerking whatever that's called. Watch and learn kids! :D


Happy weekend! I'll try to enjoy it as much as I can.

Later Edit: Because I'm really in the mood for Parov Stelar, I'll let these 2 songs here, "For Rose" being my favourite one. ;)

That trumpet, ugh...

And this is the dark side of Zootopia or Zootopia directed by Tarantino, haha. I really liked that movie. The song is good though. I would call it Animal Farm 2 or Animal Farm - 2017 edition.




joi, 9 martie 2017

Her

I just realised that very soon I'll be 23 years old. Pff, wasting my younger years. :\
What I always say to people: Please don't become a boring adult, yes become a responsible adult and do stuff suitable for your age because otherwise it's stupid and looks very unnatural but don't lose your spark or your self as cliche-istic as it may sound no matter what life gave you, please don't become boring and what it's expected of you 'cause it's such a shame to lose another one, so not worth it in the end, be it for all the money in the world or better said don't do what you don't want to. :\ If I'll become one I'll make sure to come back here to this blog and give myself a slap or smth so I'll be myself again, at least from time to time, I know I'll really need it. :D




New single. The truth has been spoken. F*ck fake friends/We don't need them/Only thing they good for is leaving.
Cheers!



luni, 6 martie 2017

Nujabes

 Only love for Samurai Champloo. :)
Play from the start:



My fav:

A very bittersweet balad:


And something even more chill, works well when you want to study:

And last but not least and also not related, this one:

Cheers!




About Spring

Tot Dragonu e baza :)) Nu credeam ca o sa imi placa genul asta vreodata dar never say never, chiar e o combinatie reusita piesa asta. Cata sensibilitate, praa. :)) Defapt o stiam de ceva ani dar acum o apreciez la adevarata ei valoare, haha.

About childhood

Ascultati si Povesti de familie, Prieten Adevarat si mai ales Lacunele Istoriei.
 Adevarate lectii de viata, haha. Dar nu, serios acuma, radem, glumim dar chiar sunt bune piesele. Mai ales Primavara de mai sus. Simplitate si frumusete, nu tu fite si alte artificii. Ce bine ar fi daca n-am mai uita de unde am plecat, fara perversitati si meschinarii, doar suflete frumoase si sincere cum sunt copiii unde lucrez eu, dar mai viseaza Claudia, viseaza ca visezi frumos. :))

For my international counterparts if I have some, I've known this song for a long time, too bad you can't understand the lyrics, it's basically about the simple things in life and how to appreciate them, some romanian traditions, spring and how it's better to not forget where you've come from. :D
Other songs from them worth listening to: Lacunele Istoriei, Povesti de familie and Prieten Adevarat, all of them by Dragonu.




duminică, 5 martie 2017

Begin Again

Best movie ever, you should definitely watch it if you haven't already. Made me smile in so many ways. :)


Cheers!

Listened to this on repeat, repeat, repeat. Frumos :)

This one is just for visualization purposes, haha. We all know Romanian girls are the most beautiful women. :-P



Where's the Revolution?

 I just finished eating the best 3 cups of ice cream with whipped cream ever in one of my favourite restaurants, meeting an old friend, I know Gelato from Rome is the best one but I have time to try that one too someday. :D What have I been doing lately? I'm always asked this question and my answer is life, life, life. I just got my first client in translations and I have some work to do besides everything else, it's about politics, not my favourite subject but hey, gotta learn politics, gotta learn to do them all sometimes. From receptionist skills to teaching, private tutoring and last but not least translations gotta learn them all, haha. Furthermore, from Monday I'll also start going to the gym, this time doing something more challenging to tone it up a little.
I have some plans for the summer, certainly Bucharest and afterwards maybe Cluj?! We'll see about the last one. :D Next year, dunno it's way too far away but you won't find me in the same place that's for sure. :)) Me is on the move, always and as I see, something new comes up all the time so who knows where I'll be next year? :)). But I certainly be gone for good this time, no coming back, be it hell or not. I know it because I've never been so calculated, patient, cautious and organized in my whole life, haha. That's how much my soul craves it. But enough with this, better listen to this song.


In theme with some certain events: