miercuri, 28 iunie 2017

Click for Rihanna :))

Super mega happy! Who has an interview tomorrrow? Meee! Who has another 3 interviews next week in Bucharest? Meeee! Who's going to move to Bucharest next week? Meee! Who might get a place in a very awesome big paid internship next week in Bucharest? Meee! I said just maybe about the last one so no jumping or anything, gotta take my best white shirt for that one, I really missed that shirt. However, I'll be very happy either way no matter the result just because. :)) After weeks when I couldn't even sleep because of the stress and everything and no, I couldn't go anywhere knowing the situation I was in, I stayed at home to watch everything on the internet, paying attention to everything, like a snake(couldn't find any comparison) so I can get my chance, so I can be the first to apply to almost everything. I just had to go through all the assessments and applying each and every day to almost everything and wait because that's what you do when you really want something. I really can't have fun if I don't get what I want and if I'm not rested with my mind and with something, anything, so I can feel better with myself so I can party like it's the end of the world afterwards. I am persistent and hard working, for me fun and breaks are only when I am satisfied with myself and with what I have then at that moment. Now I am happy that I can finally get some sleep because I'll finally have some interviews and I am satisfied with everything and with myself. I am proud. Like hell, I've survived 8 months with so little social life almost to zero so of course I'll survive this, not that I haven't tried or anything, I'm quite sociable to be honest, is just that this city is quite dead for me, has been for a long time, but I had a different escape before but now having no more school it was even more dead than ever before. And I also changed so much as a person over the years that certain things and people just won't work for me anymore, no offense to anyone really, there're many still here who are very cool but none of us has business with each other anymore, that's all, not saying about my god, the boredness, the boredness was too strong. But as I wanted that much to leave with my own money, I didn't care about anything, I did it. It doesn't matter anymore, it's done, it's finished, it's history as I like it to say. Now I'm finally more chill, I've seen things, I've learned my lessons, still many more to learn.

This month was probably the hardest I've experienced in a looong time, do that, finish that, all the papers in order, go there, do that, do this, remember that, conferences with the girls about the apartment, let's not fight again, let's not bring another person only one person knows about, like really, we're enough already, still I'm glad she didn't bring a boy or a child to live with us, it could have been worse :)) with an animal I agree, better bring an animal than a person, I know we're not allowed, just joking :))) that's way too expensive, that looks horrible, that is too far away, not enough space, not enough rooms, with shower or with bathtub, ugly furniture, who cares? :)) Just give me a bed to sleep, I have other things to worry about, agencies screwing with us when visiting and many more (To be honest I felt like I was in a comedy sitcom or something, I kind of expected it, but still) we will all suffer so much, I'm already imagining it but we'll be all so busy that we'll stay there just to sleep, only then we'll see each other, oh and in weekends but I'm sure we'll be also gone in weekends too, at least I know I will :))), everybody is rushing, everybody wants to move quickly next week so they don't waste money, everybody is nervous, everybody is under pressure, everybody hopes for the best because I'm not the only one now who's looking for a job again. At least a person is thinking straight and is not rushing, doing it properly and it isn't me. She knows herself. ;) Me, now I can't be, but I'll be, soon enough. This month was hell on earth and guess what it's only the beginning, yaay! Because of a certain someone I'm using this emoticon :)) more than I should when texting. I'm so dreaming of those weekends at Therme, after everything finally settles for me. What can possibly happen more this month that haven't already happened? An earthquake or something 'cause all the other things already happened.

Well, at least nothing can stop me now. Once I get my wings there's no turning back. I'll never ever put foot in this city again, only if there's an emergency or something but I don't think I'll do it even then, yeah, I'm like that, a horrible person, don't like to look back. Doesn't mean I won't remember how I started, who was there and who wasn't, neva'.
I'll just go on and on until I'll also never see this country ever again so I'll be happy, if I'll get angry enough, probably not even the continent but ook one step at a time, one step at a time, I have a lifetime for it anyway. :)

If you want to see Rihanna without a bra watch this, like it's not the first time either way :))
 I so need a good party to dance until I lose myself a bit, just a bit.

Santana, where are you? Sounds like your guitar but I can't see you because Rihanna covers the whole screen. It should be called Rihanna&The Others. Dj Khaled looks like that kid from school who's trying way too hard to be cool like the other kids. We know it, we've all been there. :)) Jokes aside, I'm addicted to it, just for the time being.
 I like this one too
 Cheers and may God/Jesus/Buddha/Allah/Jedi watch upon us this summer!

 I'm sure this will be my last blog post and I'm sad but happy at the same time because that means that I'll have better things to do in my life than writing in a blog all day, everyday. At least I'm honest about it.  Will come back to it from time to time, maybe I'll write something, maybe I won't, really don't know, can't predict the future. :)
And one more thing: I don't accept friend requests from strangers. If we never talked or see each other or if we don't have some mutual friends there's really no need to stalk my profile. I don't need to show a big number of friends on my facebook profile. Thank you!  :)
And God how much I love this woman, Mia she even directs her own music, that's how badass is she.

duminică, 25 iunie 2017

Communication Part. 2

22 and 23 years old, the ages when you try almost everything in order to see what fits you better, the age when many means better, the age when I hope I'll never ever in my whole life be more confused as I am right now, I actually don't think it is possible to be more than this, the age when, how someone used to say, when you could completely ruin, change or succeed the rest of all your life in matter of days or months. I so hate these years from all my heart, I want them to pass quickly :)) how can someone say oh, how awesome, so young, so innocent, so great, so bla, bla bla, no, it's not great at all, these years are stupid, don't tell me with the mind you have now that you're thinking that when you were 22, 23 you liked everything and knew everything and weren't even a bit confused, don't tell me that you love those years because I'm sure you didn't have the money, comfort, experience and life you have now at 30 let's say. It's just an example. I think  these years are probably the most stupid ones from our lives because yes, we may have education but that's just it, in rest we're pretty much newbies in like everything so what are we doing besides school, jobs, partying and discovering ourselves? Not much. One may say, ok, but I had a lot of time back then. No, I don't think you had more time, you were just doing different things that's all, the time was the same. I'm talking about adults without children because otherwise there's a completely different story. That's a certain full time job for all your life if you're enrolling.

I still think these are the most stupid years of our lives even if you may say that you're not like this because you figured out everything by now, because you kind of did everything from school, travelling, jobs to marriage or even children haha, I know some fellows who think like this, I still highly doubt you if you figured out everything being under the age of 25, I really don't believe you no matter what because something is certainly missing from the whole perfect image you show of the "perfect" life of yours where you quickly did everything you were supposed to do so your family are all very proud now and at peace that everything is sorted out for you so they don't have to worry and wait no more for anything they wish for you to happen in the future because you already did them all. You should feel like life not even began not that you're already tired of it. I'm not saying you shouldn't make your parents proud, make them proud they deserve it big time but there's always different ways in which you can make someone very proud. :))

However, that's not what I wanted to point out in the blog post, it is only about my personal opinion on how I think these years from 22 to 25 are in general and why I hate them, you may love them but don't tell me that you're at your best, nobody really is, no matter what.

Probably the only good thing is that your health and energy are the best so you're at your best only physically speaking, pretty important but that's all. I'm waiting for counter-arguments and different opinions, please argue with me, haha. That's why I have to see much more things, I've seen way too little.

This version is also awesome, modern like

 Pretty awesome these movies, T1 and T2. I liked T2 more. I don't think at all that they glorify or promote drug addiction, actually I think they give you the don't do drugs feeling with that scene with the baby which was very disturbing for me, no movie made me feel more sick to my stomach than this one. :) Watch also American Gods, it's pretty awesome. I've also played Oxenfree, not now, a while ago and it's awesome. The game To The Moon will continue the story with Finding Paradise, can't wait for it because I'm such a geek and I wanted to say something else but of course I forgot, another recommendation because you know me, I like to share everything. :)

T1 (1996)
 T2 (2017)

Read also the book written by Spud even if it's all full of Scottish slang.

marți, 20 iunie 2017

Every you, every me

I've always been modest, I don't have many things or achievements that makes you say wow compared to others and of course I'm no special, nobody is and I don't know how great I am at anything but I have one thing just one thing, THAT one thing which I'm very proud of and which defines me 100% as a person and that thing is called persistence. This is the only thing I'll always be very proud of and the one thing that will probably set me apart from anyone, I am persistent in an obsessive way so even if I go through hell I'll always do it by keeping in mind my goals, wishes, objectives or simply a great vision or desire. Nothing comes easily, without great deal or effort and we, the highly persistent ones know this the best from all.

I think that: Talent, genius, and education mean very little when persistence is lacking. :) I don't say they are not important but they are nothing without true determination. I've seen many people who lack this but have many more of the above things but still that spark is missing, that burning desire, that I don't want simply to earn a living kind of spark if you know what I mean. Or maybe they are just shy which is kind of like a disease because it stops you from doing a lot of awesome things, I know it because, been there, done that, not anymore. :D Even when they've reached that success so they have all the money so no more struggling they won't be happy because they know something is missing. Highly persistent people will keep going long after the rest have dropped out. Even after they reach that success they very much fought or wished for they will still continue. It's in the DNA. It's not an easy life, not at all but it's a very adventurous and thrilling one, just like we like it to be. :)


And somebody reminded me of this song, chills down my spine. They even used it in an Romanian movie I won't say its name and I prefer this version more than the one from Coldplay with the lyrics.

And some songs I used to listen to with no idea of what the lyrics were actually about, never payed attention to the lyrics. Now that I understand what they're talking about, I think they're very funny the image I had before and how I think right now. :)))

Define persistence. Well, watch this movie first :)

luni, 19 iunie 2017

T-Shirts mania!

Still looking for an apartment with the girls in Bucharest for July onwards after two epic fails because seriousness my ass, that's why I never trust agencies of any kind. Hope we'll find something though, something that will really stay. :)) These days will kill me, that's why I'll go to Piatra Neamt to my cousin for a couple of days this week just to unplug from everything, shut down everything, the silence before the storm kind of thing and because I didn't go to Constanta this weekend with the future roomies because of some lame excuse. I really needed that, however, it doesn't matter anymore. The weather was awful, it rained all weekend non stop and the concert was canceled because of that so I didn't miss anything, haha.

What's with this guy and the bananas in every video? :)))

I look around and I see nothing in my neighborhood
Not satisfied don't think I'll ever wanna stay for good
Packed up my bags, told mom and dad I've gotta go, go
And once I do they'll finally see the inner me

 Everybody wanna be a star, everybody want a nice car
Everybody wanna live great, have a good damn time, never trip with the law
The popo up in PO, dirtier than VO
Bullies from the past act like I'm the fucking hero
Livin' in LA for the weather, I FaceTime mom when I miss her
I got some homies that'll never leave my hometown
When I pull up to the corner, it smell like Miley Cyrus
I told em' I don't smoke, they say "boy, you fuckin' wildin'"
Innocent and young
Reckless and we dumb
Our heart is like our earth and memories the sun.

Si m-ati innebunit cu piesa asta, e peste tot, ma bantuie, sau aia cu No Type. :)))

And now I really want a T-Shirt with Pulp Fiction, like for real. I watched this just for the sake of that awesome T-Shirt, not a fan of this guy and his music but damn that T-Shirt. I need it in my life.  :))
I'm at that strange point in my life when I only want to wear awesome T-Shirts like that one with the Bazinga!!! printed on it or with Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction or anything related to that movie and many more if you search the big internet.

Just look how awesome they are:

Really hope that everything will be just fine in the end. It has to. -_-
PS: I edited my last post, so check it out, it has some Kate Bush in there. ;)
And my all time fav band since childhood. Now I like more only Serj Tankian and his great orchestra.

luni, 12 iunie 2017

Options (Edited)

I'll never understand those kids, youngsters even adults in general who have like a million opportunities and options to choose from in life and all the support needed to achieve anything and they're just like I don't care, I don't know or I don't want to know or I don't even want to try. Such a pity and a waste of opportunities. It's called being spoiled, I know but still such a waste. :( 

My heart skipped a beat on this song. Great orchestra!

I love this pic and they're not many pics I like with me but this one, I really like it. :)

Later Edit: These days I listened to Kate Bush like a lot which is funny because at first I didn't understand at all why the hype with her why is she called a legend and all that, I thought that Bjork was and it still is a legend but now I understand why. After a couple of listenings on repeat, I finally see it or better said feel it. Her voice as high pitched and funny as it sounds the first time you actually hear it becomes better and better and as I'm a fan of Wuthering Heights(the version with Tom Hardy and Charlotte Riley, ofc) I came to adore her little by little, love her strangeness.

Enjoy the strangeness! Be different, think different, one of my many mottos in life! :)

sâmbătă, 3 iunie 2017

Summer nights

Sleepless nights, many sleepless nights

Finished Stranger Things which was on the to watch list since last year. Love those kids. :)

I told you in the previous post that I'm scared of bad, crazy people because they're so many, I think what I'm most scared of are small minds. These are the most dangerous ones of them all because what you can't understand usually makes you feel uneasy and it is seen as bad just because it's different or just because you can't understand it, especially after a certain age when you're becoming more and more lazy and comfortable with your life so you sort of stop learning. I don't know why we do this, stop learning and trying when we're older or stop accepting new things just because, dunno why. Always be different, don't go with the flock of sheep because who cares about the crowds? They're just crowds.
Not related to anything but that guy from the Soundgarden died quite a while ago but however. It was quite a debate about how we remember good artists only after they are dead but nobody listened to them before. Well, I did, I posted about them this year before everything so it's not like nobody, nobody. :)

vineri, 2 iunie 2017

Resolutions (Edited)

Ready for a very long, boring post where I'll probably repeat myself? :)) You've been warned.

I'm at my final days at work and I'm feeling weird of course. I'll take my boss advice and I'll try as much as I can to find my own place in this world, if possible in another field, only if possible :( not because I was terrible in this one, haha, it's not related to that, it's just because I won't be happy around kids, I can't really go down on their level when I'm always thinking how to develop myself more and how to be better or how to grow as a person, I was surprised when she actually told me that I'm different, that she never saw a person who just can't find it in her heart to let kids in her life, that she's seeing other things in me, that she can't see not even a drop of maternal instinct in me, you know that thing all women are supposed to have no matter the age or if they're mothers or not and that it's better if I'm focusing my life on completely different things like career or something, that I'll probably be very great in other things, it can be anything else than being a parent or making a family because it's just not for me. I was kind of shocked but also thrilled at the same time, however I never saw myself as a parent of any sort, I knew it the first time I saw my nephew, I like him a lot of course but that's it, I see children, I like them but that's it, now let's go back to business :))) I always liked other things in life, it's not called selfishness it's just wanting to dedicate your life to continually develop yourself without anything else to disturb it and no, it's not because I'm too young so I'll change my mind later when I'll be older or when I'll find the right person, nope, unfortunately or maybe fortunately this is how I've always been (now I don't really know if I'll ever have a child or not, the tricky thing here is that guys usually want children so I dunno it's tricky).  She frankly told me that I'm probably the most mature, serious and strict 23 years old person she ever met in her life(I always thought that I'm the complete opposite, haha) and I don't even want to admit it acting all bubbly to try not to be a boring adult, that's my biggest fear actually :) when I know that I see things way ahead of them even happening, I always liked to talk with much older people than me because I always felt more on the same page with them and funny enough people my age always liked coming back to me and talk or even listening to my advices and think that I know some stuff naturally like I'm much older than them, like I have life experience or something when in reality that's not true at all, I didn't experience anything I just observe things around me and I naturally know what to say or to do, I don't know how exactly it happens, they just come to me very natural, I just know it, that's all, maybe I'm a good psychologist like my boss who have seen this maturity in me and of course she's not the only one who told me this so I kind of knew about it before because someone else who also know me very well told me the exact same thing that I have a certain maturity and it always feels with me like I know things I couldn't or shouldn't know because I never experienced them but I just know them, who knows how, well it's hard to explain, you just have to meet me in person so you'll see for yourself. :)))  It's very funny because the first months me and my boss we just couldn't get along at all, it was just like we were speaking different languages until we sat down and everybody was honest and said all they wanted to say. And now I'm kind of grateful but also scared because I don't know exactly what to do, I'm scared of meeting crazy, very bad people who'll put me down because they're so many (maybe that's why I wanted to be around kids more, I felt like they'll be less crazy, bad people in this field and I was right, they weren't, at least not many but of course I only saw it like a business).

Now what does Claudia wants in a job but probably won't get it very soon because life's a bitch when you're poor and need money to survive and when she wants to live on her own like really on her own for the very first time so she can get some perspective in life so less and less money for her because Romania. Claudia will be very happy if she'll work in a place that can give her the possibility to work with people and by this I'm meaning adults, open-minded and very ambitious ones who have high goals in life just like her, in a place where she can develop all the time, to grow professionally, to do all kinds of different things, to travel if possible but it's not compulsory, to kind of reach higher and higher as the years pass by, she never ever wants to feel trapped again be it in a city, in a country or by a person be it family, relative, friend, boyfriend or by a circumstance or just by life, or by a job or just because she's poor, or just because she doesn't have enough money, like it has to be nothing at all, no trap of any sort, that's when she'll be truly happy but at the same time she knows it sounds very arrogant but she doesn't want to try many unsuitable things until she gets to have the right job, that very big job or company we all hope for because if she'll do it like this it will drive her crazy forcing herself again and again, broking herself even more doing things that she knows they are just not suited for her and they just won't get her anywhere, but she has to do it just because she'll need the money to survive. And this is the vicious circle Claudia is in. And Claudia is way too young to lose her mind. Now how can you ever think of what you really love in life when you're always thinking about money, more money struggling with time and surviving at the same time or just money, money, money? And that's why Claudia hates Romania and she knows she'll have no rest until she'll leave the country for good, sooner the better. Now that she'll be closer to the airport, I think she'll get all the money she can there and book a plane ticket somewhere and never, ever come back again. :))

 But enough with the third person, I know I'll most probably be forced to continue to work in this field if I'll really won't find anything else there and that's really sad, that's quite my nightmare right there but as I really need a change of environment and people to get some perspective, I'll do it. But still what I said earlier, my wish stands, being closer to the airport, it's very tempting for me, it's my greatest wish so how could I ignore it, I'll get all the money and book a plane ticket without coming back, haha, it sounds funny because I didn't even left my home and I'm already thinking of leaving the place I'm going, that's exactly how I thought before I even got this job I was thinking about the time I'll leave it before I even got it, sorry boss, like really I'm not lying, I was that sure about it and I'm always thinking way, way ahead, :D as I'm sure I'll be broke the next months, rent and all that so harder to save money from now on when you're on your own but still I really don't know how or when but I swear I'll do it, I'll book that ticket and go to that airport and it won't be on vacation or visiting relatives it will be so that I won't come back ever again it will be for a job, well of course I'll come just to visit but not more than that I know it because the worse the job will be where I go right now and me unhappier, the sooner I'll want to leave and do crazy things and actually they're not crazy things, it's just my biggest wish of my life. And hell no, I won't go back home, I'll be rather starving on the streets and not letting anyone know about it (well that's a bit exaggerated but however you get my point) than going back. I'll always move forward, and forward and forward, bigger and bigger and bigger.

PS: The new teacher left like for good and I'm so not surprised at all, that's why I like my intuition, it's the best. :-P

The music of Selah Sue hits me hard everytime, I can literally feel her emotions and feelings when she sings, like they are mine, I feel her pain and struggles like there're my own, the power of her songs it's just mindblowing for me, she's all passion and soul in her music from the gestures to the dancing and singing, love the voice, love the way she's getting lost in her music. I saw something similar in Aurora's songs but not the same of course, 'cause they're different. I'm obsessed with her since 2014 and this don't usually happens with me, I don't have idols in music because I listen to many genres and bands and I like many musicians but with her is different because I'm coming back again and again and again more than I do with other musicians, artists and so on.

And here is the whole concert on Deezer, best songs:
Cheers! :)

And because I can't sleep:

Always fight for what you want! Hope I won't see this small city very soon